I'm not strong enough to withstand it. The truth is, I struggle to get out of bed, to keep going, but I'm here and I'm writing and I'm surviving.
I can imagine some people think nine years is enough. It's time to "move on" but he wasn't their father and this isn't their life. This is my life and it fucking hurts. Grief goes on. Grief, for some of us, has no end. I've lost him forever and I can't live with it, I can't accept it.
Last night, I created a playlist of songs that confront the pain of loss and acknowledge that we are never the same after we lose a loved one. These songs are comforting and they will help me through the next couple of months. Music was his great love and passion. Now, music allows me to cope with his death.
You can listen to the playlist below:
1. Mindy Smith - One Moment More
2. Loudon Wainwright III - Homeless
3. Lori McKenna - That's How You Know
4. Dar Williams - Family
5. Rosanne Cash - The World Unseen
6. Trisha Yearwood - I Remember You
7. Gretchen Peters - Everything Falls Away
8. Kris Delmhorst - My Ohio
9. Angus & Julia Stone - All of Me
10. LeAnn Rimes - Probably Wouldn't Be This Way
11. Robert Plant and Alison Krauss - Your Long Journey
12. Emmylou Harris and Rodney Crowell - Higher Mountains
13. Jesca Hoop - Angel Mom
14. Patty Griffin - Gonna Miss You When You're Gone