A Terrible Fear of Loss

My mother went out this morning to get breakfast. I stayed in bed. Shortly after she left, I heard an ambulance siren wailing in the distance and thought, "What if that's her? What if she never comes home again?" I was so terrified in that moment. Time collapsed. I was groggy and plunged back into sleep to escape the terrible fear. Of course, she came home. There was nothing to worry about, but this is how I think. My father never came home, and nothing can stop death from happening again. Every time my mother leaves the house, I wonder if she will return. I fear what is to come. Fear is all I know.