Valentine's Day

If my father were alive, he and my mother would have celebrated their 33rd wedding anniversary today.

***

I keep thinking about the way life should be. My father should be alive. We should be together. I cannot accept life as it is. I cannot accept that he is gone forever, that the years keep passing and I am farther away from him, that everything has changed and the world has moved on and I am still drowning in my grief.