When You Can't Be The Daughter Your Mother Deserves

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I am struggling.
I'm sorry I can't get out of bed.
I'm sorry I want to die.
I'm sorry all I think about is my dead father.
I'm sorry I need to be alone more than I need to be with you.
I'm sorry you are not enough.
I'm sorry I cannot speak.
I'm sorry this grief has ruined me.
I"m sorry I love you so much it devastates me.
I'm sorry I fear your death every moment of my life.
I'm sorry this fear stops me from being present with you.
I'm sorry I do not want to be here.
I'm sorry you lost everyone you ever loved and then lost me, too.
I'm sorry that when you gave me life, mother, you also gave me death.