I think I am living more in the moment than I ever have before. I savor things because the knowledge of their transience has finally sunk into me. It's as though I finally see life for what it is and, though the ache for the past is never gone, I want to be alive now.
How the years vanish, how time dissolves and leaves so little for us to love. I have to keep loving in my own way. I need to keep living for the moments of happiness, the afternoons of reading, the nights when I breathe the winter air and feel connected to life and to other people.
I need to keep writing, which is why I created this blog. Words take me where I need to go, into the abyss and into the light. It is not until I write that I realize what I have seen, known, and felt. Nothing touches my life, my being, my anguish, nothing fully captures my experiences, but I need to stop letting my life vanish.